Thursday, September 28, 2006

Free hugs

I would love to meet this man. All that I know is that his name is Juan, and he is handing out free hugs. Just imagine what the world would be like if we were all a little more like Juan...

I am off to give away some free hugs, come join me :)


Wednesday, September 27, 2006

With Sarah

The first time I actually remember talking to Sarah she told me that she had just told her mom and step-dad if they did not buy her a kitten she was going to get pregnant, she also told me she was saving up her money (she had a job at KFC) to run away... I would have been about 14 years old at the time, and she was 15.

I knew who Sarah was, as we went to school together and our wards met in the same church building, just at different times. On this particular day I was walking home from church and she was ditching church. She walked up next to me and just started talking. We had never spoken before and within 15 minutes I knew where she worked, who she liked, and many other things I will just keep under my hat. I don't think I actually said much at all, and once I got where I was going we parted ways and I did not think much of it after that.

Fast forward about 2 years. I am now 16 years old working at KFC. Another girl named Alexis has just started working with me. I went to elementary school and junior high with her, now we are in High school together too... However we were never friends.

One night after work we decide to go out for ice cream and we REALLY hit it off. We immediately become fast friends, and she tells me that her best friend Sarah will be coming home soon. I realize that this is the same Sarah who had told me about wanting to get pregnant if she could not have that kitty...

Alexis tells me that for the last 14 months Sarah has been in a program for troubled teens called Turnabout. She is coming home in a few weeks, and Alexis can hardly wait to see her again. They have been allowed limited contact through letters since Sarah was sent away. She tells me all about Sarah, and I in turn start to feel excited about meeting her again. It seems we have a lot in common.

Well, the day came that Sarah came home, and the first place she came after seeing her family was to KFC. Our boss Scott offered her a job right away and after thinking for a while her mom allowed her to take it. Who would have guessed that Lexi, Sarah, and I would become such good friends.

From that day on the three of us were inseparable. We worked the same shifts, tried to have the same classes at school... And on nights where for some reason one of us was not working but another one was we would all meet at closing and close the shop together regardless of being on the clock or not. We would go to Village Inn late at night and bear our souls. We would stay the night at eachothers houses each weekend. We were the three stooges.

One day we found out that Sarah was moving to California. We were all devastated and my mom offered to let Sarah live with us. Her mom and Step-dad said no... So off they went to California. It lasted only a month before her Mom called mine and asked if the offer still stood. Sarah was unhappy and her mom felt it would be best to let her come back and have here senior year with us. So... A week later Sarah moved in with me.

We were roommates for quite some time as her bedroom was not finished. We literally slept in the same bed, shared the same clothes, drove the same car in to school everyday (we had a 25 minute commute to my school because we had moved to a new home), worked the same schedule at work, had MANY of the same classes at school, and drove home together at the end of the night. We never really fought much. Sometimes we would get mad at eachother when one of us made a stupid decision with a guy (Oy!!! We were sooooo stupid!) but for the most part we got along perfectly. We had eachother's backs in EVERYTHING. We had oh so many adventures... And misadventures together. We completed eachothers sentences, read eachothers thoughts, and understood eachother when nobody else possibly could have.

Eventually our senior year ended. We graduated, Sarah moved out of my parents house in to a rented house, and I moved to Arizona. We both sent many letters to eachother, ran up huge phone bills, and tried to adjust to life without being near to our dearest friend. Somehow we adjusted, and moved on in our lives. Somehow we had a falling out over something so stupid I have a hard time actually thinking about it. Somehow we both got over ourselves and after nearly two years of not talking she called me and we talked, and talked, and talked... Now we talk every week on the phone. We see eachother only once or twice a year *sigh* but we are still close like we were so many years ago. Still we can know what the other is thinking without them having to say, and we still both feel a pull when the other is having a difficult time and we know it is time to call.

I love my Sarah.

Friday, September 22, 2006

A song... And a day at the park

This morning as I was getting the little ones up and ready for the day, a friend of mine called to see if I wanted to join her and her kiddies at the park up the street from my house. So, I got everyone dressed and fed, dropped Kayden off at school... And then Jett, Kael and I met them at the park.

It is BEAUTIFUL outside today. It was about 74 degrees with a really nice gently breeze. *sigh* If only EVERYDAY in Arizona could be this lovely. Ah, well... I don't have to deal with icky cold winters so I should not complain I suppose. :)

Kael, pretty much sat in the sand the whole time and mashed it around in his fingers and tried to swallow the occasional mouthful...

And Jett... well, he ran races against his shadow and climbed the jungle gyms. Once or twice he also tried running away... Such a little booger!

All in all it has been a great day so far. Tonight Chad and I are going to play lazer tag with a big group of friends, it should be fun... Hopefully I can convince him afterwards to take me to see The Last Kiss... i have been DIEING to see it since I first saw the previews and heard the soundtrack. We shall see, he is not a huge fan of going to the movies...

And finally, I have gotten around to posting another song for you all. I hit SEVERAL really funky notes in the beginning, but whatever. My voice is finally starting to work again. I lost it several weeks ago, and it always seems to take quite some time to come back fully. It is almost there now, YAY. I was getting really irritated with not being able to sing while I was cleaning or showering.

So here it is, the song is called "Let me go down quick" by Sean Wood. I am hoping that someday soon he will be coming out with a CD... His voice is like velvet.

this is an audio post - click to play

Have a beautiful weekend!!!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

With the Hubby

Well, I had to dig into the archives for this one. Chad (hubby) is not very obliging in allowing me to take many pictures of him. He HATES pictures infact so I have very few of the two of us together... *sigh* But sometimes, he makes me smile and lets me take a few. This is one of those few. Taken earlier this year at the Sand Dunes.

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The first time we met I kneed him in the balls... Since then I have done that a few more times, and given him a bloody nose... ( I cannot be held responsible for the things that happen when I am being tickled...)

He is rather conservative compared to me... I am much more Liberal.

He wore pink fuzzy slippers everywhere we went for about a year... I finally gave in and bought him a pair of pink bunny ones.

We are Mormon... He had lots of scriptural knowledge... I have lots of life knowledge.

I wore a nose ring (rather well I should add)... He despised it and begged me to take it out.

He likes my hair to be "normal"... I really really want my hair to be green and pink.

I am trying to decide exactly where I want my tattoo... He just asks that it is small and inconspicuous.

His idea of heaven is going to the Dunes with a toy hauler, some quads, and a sandrail... I would like to sit on a cliff overlooking the ocean, tasting the salty breeze.

He is a technological whiz... I am technologically challenged... But I am learning:)

He listens to Metallica... It makes my ears bleed, I prefer the hippie acoustic stuff:)

I want to live all over the world... He wants to stay near family and friends.

I want adventure... He wants stability

He has to force me to spend any money on myself... I almost have a heart attack when he MAKES me spend it.

I LOVE going to the movies... He likes to watch them at home where he controls the sound and he can pause it.

He thinks flowers are a waste of money, instead he buys me art supplies... I love flowers, but I love my art supplies even more.

We ground eachother.
We are the best of friends.
We teach eachother to see and appreciate the differences in everyone.
We have amazing conversations.
We almost never fight... ALMOST.
We have built a great life.
We have beautiful children.
We help eachother get through the difficult times with grace and dignity.
We are perfect for eachother in all of our imperfections.
We are soul mates...

I love my husband Chad.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Hanging with Jetty Spagetti

This week I am with my Jett. I seem to spend most of my time with him these days as Kayden is now in school and Kael takes a rather long nap everyday.

It has been really fun getting to spend so much time with him. He is hilarious. He makes the funniest faces when he talks and he is always so excited... He is also your typical two year old. Major attitude... He loves to tell me NO MOMMY, you NOT the charge of me! And he tries to tell us all what to do. But, even with his ginormous attitude he is just about the sweetest kid ever. I just love my Jetty Spagetti :)

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Today we went outside while Kael was napping and shot this picture. I was showing him a trail of ants that was moving through the grass to their hill by the sidewalk. He was VERY excited about the "spiders" as he called them. All bugs are either "car roaches" or spiders to him, I try to teach him the real names, but I still think its funny when he see's a fly or a moth and he squeals "CAR ROACH!!!!!!".

We named him Jett because of how he was born. I was in labor for only an hour and about 15 minutes total. This kid was in a hurry to start life. He was in such a hurry that our midwife (we do home birth) was not able to make it in time so my wonderful hubby got to do it all himself! :) When Pam (midwife) got to our house a few minutes later she jokingly said we should name him Jett because he was so fast. So, we did:)

Monday, September 11, 2006

I would never write...

This weeks writing prompt for Sunday Scribblings is "I would never write". WEll... This week I have a lot of things on my mind, but one major thing comes to mind. And when it all came up I sat in silence and said nothing to defend myself. I weakly tried to explain some things but I knew it would not change anything. I went home and thought about it all during the week and now, a week later I do feel like I have a lot to say. Part of this person's issue was that I choose to share so much in my blogs over the internet.... And although I needed to vent and write to clear my mind I never did because I was scared to at first. Well, now with this prompt I will say some of the things that "I would never write". You can also see more scribblings here

I would never write about how frustrated I am about his whole thing. About how you took everything I have said and done and twisted it around to make it into something it is not. And I am even more frustrated because you honestly think that is the way it was. You really really don't know who I am at all.

I would never write that although I can see your points on some things I still do not agree with them. And that because you have control over certain things in my life I have complied with some of what you wanted even if I did not want to. I took down some of the things that were of such concern to you because I saw how some people could see it the wrong way... Now I regret it. I am ANGRY that I compromised what I believe to submit to someone else's beliefs of what I need to be in my life. I took them down, and that is all I can do. The other things you want me to "work on" do not in my mind need any attention at this time.

I would never write that after I was let go, one of my girls wrote me a note telling me that I was the ONLY one who understood her and that I have made a difference... That even though I am not the "right kind of influence" it seems like I was able to make a connection with someone who needed me, and this happened because I do not quite fit that mold you are looking for. If I was one of the other cookie cutter leaders who all think and act the same way this girl would not have felt understood or loved or felt that it is OK to feel the way she does.

I would never write that I have lived through these kinds of judgments my whole life and even if you are unhappy with who I am and what I am doing I am actually getting happier. I feel better, and free. I know what is in my heart even if your judgment has been clouded by your vision.

I would never write that this is why I hated living in Utah, and why my time in high school was HELL to me. Everyone thought they were so good and righteous, when really they were no better than any one else. I am not saying that about you, because I know differently. Your heart is in the right place but your ears are not listening and your eyes do not see.

I would never write that the thought of severing all ties with these people you so disapprove of kills me. I cannot do it, you have no idea who and what they are to me. They were the light at the end of my tunnel more times than I can name. They saved me and I owe them more than a quick, simple good-bye. I owe them a continued friendship, even though you can not see through what you believe about that.

I will write that I thank you for your concern, I know your intentions are good. I just hope that you are able to open your eyes a little and think outside of this box for a bit. In your position you need to be able to view things from other peoples perspectives aside from your own. You will never be able to relate to someone if you cannot try to see their life through their eyes. Your job is NOT to tell us what we are doing wrong and force us to comply. You are here to help us along our journey, give council and if ever there were a time that someone would come to you needing your guidance then it is your job to guide. I really think that you are good at what you do, and I appreciate having you there. I know you are doing the best that you know have... But understand I am too.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


Written for a dear friend.

It is unedited and raw... and perhaps a little cheesy... But my friend knows that I am unedited and raw... and even a little cheesy :)

Written for a day long ago, for a memory that never fails to bring a smile... For my friend: I hope you are smiling now, and that you can discover more such moments. That you can have that connection we spoke of. Much love to you, and thank you as always for all these years. From sliding down the banana slides at Disney Land, and walking around in the middle of the night on Halloween after your fight with "The Crow", to sitting in the car and speaking volumes in silence while watching the stars.

Give me a moment
Something to cling to when its dark
Something to remember

Give me a memory
Somthing to think on when I'm cold
Like that day in December

Searching the faces in the crowd
I found you
Standing by a pillar

In that moment there was
Nothing else beyond us
You and I together

These moments come fast
Flying away all too quickly
please try to remember

These moments don't last
I wont forget, I'll hold on
Like that day in December

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

SPC: IHOPpin' it with Jessica

September is with someone month - that means you must include someone else in your self portrait. Someone meaningful to your life or to the moment or to a specific event that you wish to document.

1. each week in the month use a different person in your self portait.
2. either talk about that person or illustrate in the photograph why you have included them and how they are meaningful.

Allrighty then:) Well... for week number one I chose my dear Jessi B. Jessica and I have been friends for nearly 4 years now. We met at ASMT (Arizona School of Massage Therapy) when we were both training for our new jobs as Classroom Managers at that school. Little did we know at the time that we would become such good friends.

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Our friendship actually started when one night we went to IHOP and stayed up far too late talking and laughing after work. Thus IHOP night was born. Once... sometimes twice a week after work we would go to IHOP and stay there till the wee hours of morning. wE would laugh and cry and laugh some more. Other CM's started joining us and soon it was THE place to be on a Thursday night. The conversations we had... The things we did:) *sigh* I miss it soooo!!! I do believe that IHOP was one of my favorite memories of the 2 years I worked there. I grew to love these friends of mine so much there.

Well, on Sunday night a Jessi B. and I decided to go to IHOP. Jessica M. was also supposed to meet us there but she could not make it :( She will have to come next time... The night was SO great. It was also VERY needed, I think for both of us as we had both had very odd and stressful days.

The trip was not QUITE what it always used to be... we were at a different IHOP, with a different waitress (We used to have a waiter named Big John who was just awesome, and so loveable. He always knew what we were ordering before we ordered and had a caraffe of Dr. Pepper ready for us when we walked in. He would sit with us and talk while we were there for hours and hours.) But all in all it was a lovely evening and just what each of us needed.

I just love my Jessica, she is such a good friend and being able to hang with her the other night was a treat. Hooray for good friends and IHOP food!!! :)

And, for kicks here is an OLD IHOP picture from about 3 years ago... It is Me, Jessi B, and the guy in the middle is my dear friend Bryant. Oh, how I love my IHOP friends... Such good times.

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